“Well, there's sixteen thousand eight hundred twenty one
Mothers from Nashville
All their friends play music, and they ain't uptight
If one of the kids will
Because it's custom made for any mother's son
To be a guitar picker in Nashville
And I sure am glad I got a chance to say a word about
The music and the mothers from Nashville”

-- "Nasvhille Cats" by John. B. Sebastian

According to Mapquest it is 686 miles from Arlington to Nashville, Tennessee the site of MLB’s 2007 Winter Meetings.  It’s approximately a 10 hour drive. I’ve driven through Nashville a couple of times, on my way home to Ohio.

I know this route  – the drive from DFW to Texarkana is pleasant enough. The drive through Arkansas to Memphis, for the most part, is God awful – especially at night.  However once you get to Memphis and start heading east to Nashville the scenery is nice, sometimes even spectacular. Why do I bring this up? Because until the Winter Meetings begin there’s just not too much baseball worth commenting on, I had to fill up space on the blog with something, plus "I am sure am glad I got chance to say a word about" the music of the Lovin’ Spoonful and “Nashville Cats”

How to rile up Baylor fans: Every time I read a comment posted that claims that the Rangers don’t have to worry about the outfield because they have David Murphy – a large question mark appears over my head. Having watched a fair amount of minor league baseball, I’ve grown to believe in the theory of “you are what you are” – if you hit around .300  with power and take a lot of walks  in the minors (say like Travis Hafner)chances are that’s what you’ll do in the major leagues (in spite of what John Hart saw in a very small sample). Yes, Murphy had a nice .340 BA – in 103 AB’s with the Rangers – however – with 1,902 minor league AB’s he’s a career .273 hitter, with a slightly below acceptable OPS of .750 (.343 OBP/.407 SLG) I was told to compare his numbers with Rusty Greer’s minor league numbers – well, Thurman Clyde’s minor league career was considerably better (and shorter) than Murphy’s ( Rusty had 1,450 AB’s - .287 BA .385 OBP/.435 SLG/.820 OPS) David Murphy looks like a terrific 4th OF – but I’m not on the bandwagon touting him for an everyday player.

More heresy:  I wouldn’t have a problem trading Eric Hurley as part of a package deal for Johan Santana.  There, I said it.  Eric Hurley is a nice pitcher, and will have a nice career, but he will never be in the same stratosphere as Santana. 

I would not give up both Volquez and Hurley for Santana – since Edinson has already proven he can pitch in the majors he needs to be part of the rotation. The disappointing truth is the Rangers appear to be unable to scout and develop an “ace” type pitcher like Santana.  If Texas were to offer Hurley and Elvis Andrus and a couple of other good prospects for Santana (with the provision that Johan signed a contract extension) I think that would be a good move for the future of this franchise.

Off Season Distractions:

"Blog Shirts": I’m guessing that one of the reasons MLB.com loves the MLB Blogs is for marketing reasons, I get plenty, I do mean plenty of e-mails from them trying to get me to purchase some overpriced hat (I don’t wear hats) T-Shirt (I don’t wear T-shirts) or other branded item they think I can’t live with out. 

Then in yesterday’s mail I received an MLB.com catalogue, as I browsed through it I realized that were many lovely team items and generic MLB items – but absolutely nothing for the blogs.  Hey, Bud – the bloggers are bringing you an audience (well, maybe not this particular blog) you do need to throw us a bone – why not have a few “blog t-shirts”? I'm sure all the Red Sox and Yankees bloggers alone would make a profit.  Personally, I’m voting for a “Happy Hour at the Elysian Field Bar & Grill” t-shirt (click on the the picture on the left see the full version). I don’t wear t-shirts, but I’d wear that one when I wash the car.

Finally: What were the folks at Turner Classic Movies thinking?

During the month of November they’ve had “guest programmers” every night.  The majority of them have been excellent – Danny DeVito, Charles Grodin, Brian Dennehy ... but the good karma of the month is ruined on November 30th when Martha Stewart is the guest programmer... I am beyond appalled...what the name of Louis B. Mayer does she know about movies?  (Did you see her list --- just thinking about it makes me shudder).  I know I could pick better flicks than Martha - and that's a good thing.

For your viewing pleasure, Marla Hooch programs Turner Classic Movies for November 30, 2007:

• 8:00 am - "Swing Time" - the definitive Rogers/Astaire movie featuring one of the most romantic songs ever written: "The Way You Look Tonight"
• 10:00 a.m. - "The Philadelphia Story" - Katherine Hepburn, Cary Grant, Jimmy Stewart - it doesn't get any better than this - really - it doesn't.
• 12 Noon - "Red River" - my favorite Western - so good that I even believe Montgomery Clift and his New York accent as a cowboy
• 2:30 p.m. - "A Hard Day's Night" - did you know Roger Ebert teaches an entire class based on this movie? Did you know it was nominated for 2 Academy Awards?
• 4:30 p.m. - "Broadcast News" - I could write an entire blog entry on how much I like this movie - and the way things are going this off-season it could happen.  I want to marry Aaron Altman (played by Albert Brooks).
• 7:00 p.m. - "Ben Hur" - I grew up in a house with the world's biggest Charlton Heston fan -baseball Mom - she'll be pleased to know that I actually liked some of those movies - especially this epic.
• 11:00 p.m. - "Heaven Knows, Mr. Allison" - forget Bogie and Kate in Africa - Robert Mitchum and Deborah Kerr smoldering in the South Pacific is much, much better.

I'm ready for my close-up Mr. DeMille-- Marla Hooch

"In spite of illness, in spite of the archenemy sorrow, one can remain alive long past the usual disintegration date, if one is unafraid of change, insatiable of intellectual curiosty, interested in big things, and happy in small ways."

-- Edith Wharton

After I read that quote the other day, it struck me that I've done an awful lot of whining lately, that maybe I was overlooking the "small ways" in my life.

In the spirit of the this holiday - off the top of my head - here are a few things that make me happy and for which I am truly grateful:

• Bodacious Barbeque in Arlington
• Shopping at Sam Moon
• Mutts
• Vernor's Ginger Ale
• Emily and Charlotte Bronte
• Turner Classic Movies
• Sunday afternoon games at Bricktown Ballpark
• Pizza and beer at The Streets of New York in Surprise AZ
• My (still working) turntable
• Scott Simon and Weekend Edition Saturday
• The Dot Race
• Flip-flop sandals
• That bottle of Turley red wine we drank at Bouchon
• The Angelika
• Chips, salsa and Christmas lights at Campo Verde
• New Yorker Cartoons
• The surprise when you hear a great old song on the radio and the memories it conjures up
• The Old Oaks on Hill Ave in Toledo OH
• Friday Night Lights (the TV show)
• My brown sweater (yes, I still have it)
• Mango Margaritas at Chili's
• Sunsets in Surprise
• Sonny and the great ushers at the Dr. Pepper Ballpark in Frisco
• Lunch at Ozona
• Guinness Ale
• The trip to the Alki Tavern
• French Toast at I-Hop
• Curling up on the couch with a good book
• Hugh Jackman
• Baking cookies
• Boris and Natasha
• Strawberries
• The boxed set of "Homicide Life on the Street"
• Late night "discussion groups" during the annual DTFC trips
• Rocky Road Ice Cream
• The evening drives back home from OKC and Round Rock
• Laughing until my sides hurt

....and the fact that baseball is still the best part of my day.

Happy Thanksgiving -- Marla Hooch

mis·cel·la·ne·ous -- 1. made up of a variety of parts or ingredients 2. It’s one of those slow weeks during the off-season, Kenny and ARod are tired, old news (and give me a headache) which means Marla is really reaching this week for something slighty interesting to discuss. --- The American Heritage Dictionary © 1971

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1. Did you know that the average life span of a major league baseball is 7 pitches?

2. Did you know that Rangers Bench Coach Art Howe had a 23 game hitting streak with Astros in 1981?  He hit .432 during May of that season, and was named NL Player of The Month.

3. Did you know that in the 19th century catchers did not crouch behind the batter?  Normally, they would stand 5 to 10 feet behind the plate and knock the ball down or catch it on a bounce.  In order to catch or stop low pitches, he’d bend down never crouch.

4. Did you know that new Rangers Third Base Coach Matt Walbeck is one of the few catchers in the modern era to have successfully stolen home? It happened on April 11, 1997 with Tigers in a game against the White Sox – the runner at 1st Damion Easley, was picked off – 1st baseman Frank Thomas was chasing him,  Walbeck (obviously standing on third) took off for home and beat Thomas’ throw to catcher Ron Karkovice.  Wallbeck also has tagged out 3 unsuccessful steals of home including 2 against the Rangers in 1999 (Juan Gonzalez and Frank Catalanotto).

5. Did you know that the legendary gangster John Dillinger played on the prison baseball team at the Indiana State Reformatory? When his parole was denied, he requested a transfer to the Indiana State Prison in Michigan City, Indiana – the reason: they had a better baseball team.

6. Did you know that Rangers Pitching Coach Mark Connor’s nickname is Goose?  According to Connor this is how he got the name: “When I pitched, the left-handed hitters would blast balls in Goose Creek, a stream near the fence. So someone, I think it was Don Mattingly started calling me Goose and it stuck. One of my daughters even calls me that.”

7. Did you know that when President Bill Clinton threw out the first pitch on April 4, 1993 in Baltimore  he was first president to throw a pitch from the mound that made it directly to the catcher’s glove.

8. Did you know that 3 members of the 2004 Texas League Champions (Frisco) are currently playing in the Winter Mexican Pacific League: Jason Botts (Obregon – batting: .316) Marshall McDougall (Hermosillo – batting: .292) and Jason Bourgeois (Moochis – batting: .298 ) Other familiar names in that league:  RHP Spike Lundberg, LHP Matt Riley, and playing 2B for  Culiacan: Benji Gil. But the most amazing name in the stats is Fernando Valenzuela  who turned 47 – more or less- on November 1st, sporting an 8.10 ERA in 6 2/3 IP.

9. Did you know that current Ranger Michael Young and former Ranger (now free agent) Mike Lamb both attended Bishop Amat High School in La Puente, California at the same time.  They played on the baseball team with Michael Young playing Centerfield and Mike Lamb playing third base.

10. Do you know who said this: “All the fat guys watch me and say to their wives, ‘See there’s a fat guy doing okay.  Bring me another beer.”  A recent picture is on the right – his name is at the end of the blog.

Off-Season Distractions:

The Presidential  Campaign – No, not the one with Rudy, Hillary, Obama and Colbert – I’m talking about the newly vacated position of President of the Texas Rangers.  I’m jumping on the bandwagon started by Jamey Newberg on The Newberg Report supporting Chuck Morgan for team president. I wrote this about Chuck in the Newberg Forum:

• Is there anyone else in the front office who has been a witness and a part of the history of this franchise?
• Is there anyone else in the front office who knows that Ballpark is not a hockey arena, is not an “McKinney area uptown bar” – that’s it’s about baseball!
• Is there anyone else in the front office who knows cares about the fans as much as Chuck?
• Is there anyone else in the front office who knows how to walk the fine line between making money, working with the corporate sponsors, but still keeping things “fan friendly”?
• Is there any one else in the front office who know how to make a trip to the Ballpark fun? (even when the team isn’t really worth watching)
• Is there anyone on the marketing/business side of the front office who has been around this organization longer or is better suited for this job?

Chuck for President! –- Marla Hooch

__________________________________________________________________________

  P.S. That quote on the Thursday list is from the 1968 Tigers World Series Hero (and former Doughnut Shop owner) Mickey Lolich.

Dog rescues and a fond farewell delayed this week’s blog – more about that later.

Let's don our anti-germ masks, slip on those hospital vinyl gloves and carefully open Marla’s mailbag to see what lurks inside.

Dear Marla - Toby Harrah for Buddy Bell – did you like that trade when it was announced?  -- BR549atx-mlb@yahoo.com

Dear Junior Samples Fan –

That trade took place on December 8, 1978 – and I can tell you with absolute certainty that it was the last thing on my mind that day. I was in the middle of first semester finals at Notre Dame College in Cleveland, Ohio. It was my senior year, and I was more worried about graduating than I was about baseball that December.  However, when I did find out about that trade – I was not happy – since I was living in Cleveland at the time – I didn’t think Toby was nearly the player Buddy was or would be  (turned out to be right about that one).  As fate would have it: I wound up moving to Arlington after graduation - during Buddy’s first season in Texas – then I thought it was a great trade.

Dear Marla – If they serve perogi in Pittsburgh, why not armadillo in Arlington?
-- Cousin Chris-a-tine in Colorado

Dear Cousin –

First of all, our friend Alejandro is appalled at that suggestion. Do you blame him? 

Then - what about those Rocky Mountain Oysters they serve at your home park (Coors Field). If I remember correctly, when I came out for an interleauge Rangers/Rockies games a few years ago – I tried them, of course, you didn’t tell me what they were until after I’d finished a couple. Personally, I’d prefer see cabbage rolls and coffee on the menu at the Ballpark in Arlington.

Dear Marla –Should the playoffs get reduced to back to 5 games and reserve the 7 games series for the World Series?  -- Mrs. Schmenge

Dear Schmenge –

Yes – in fact the season should be shortened by 8 games to 154 so that the playoffs start around September 20th.  MLB ought to schedule afternoon playoff games (even on weekends – to heck with early season football) no TV days off – only travel days. Then the playoffs and the Series, even if it goes 7 games, should be finished before October 15th.   No more snowflakes on the field, and eight-day layoffs, and off days just so Fox can premiere another ridiculous mid-week reality show. 

And while we’re at it – I’d rather see all the playoff games on TBS – I thought their coverage was very watchable, and a relief from Jack Buck yelling, Tim McCarver’s commentary (aka another penetrating glimpse of the obvious) and Fox’s generally annoying hyped up coverage.

Dear Marla – This might be a wildly inappropriate forum, but I don’t know where else to turn.  I find myself incredibly attracted to the Mariner mascot.  Does that make me, you know…? – Sleepless in Seattle

Dear Sleepless –

I’m glad you wrote – admitting your problem is the first step to recovery.  It starts innocently with the Mariner Moose, then it draws you in – you start mainlining Moose Munch from Harry and David – and before you know it – you find yourself wearing “Whatsamata U” shirts, approaching strangers in airports and reading them Fractured Fairy Tales – yes, you are part of the cult of Bullwinkle.

But there is hope – you just have to reach out for help.   I want you to know that on behalf of the Marla Hooch entourage (myself, Baseball Mom and Mrs. Schmenge) we already know about your problem and it’s okay with us.

Dear Marla –You’ve got 3 wishes for rule changes to better the game – Go! 
--- Your Former Fiancé Marc

Dear Mr. Barenblat –

1. Either implement the DH in both leagues, or get rid of it entirely.  My preference: put the DH in the National League – let’s see how those NL pitchers like it when they have to face a lineup where the .200 hitter in the 9th spot is replaced by a .270 - .300 hitter in the 4th or 5th spot.

2. Call the high strike – and a consistent strike zone from every ump. Let’s get the umpires personality out of it, and get back to calling a fair (and hopefully faster) game for everyone.  There are enough technical types in grad schools around the country to come up with some kind of device to make sure umps are all calling the same game.

3.  Speed it up between pitches – make batters get in the box, make pitchers stick with 12-second rule. Don’t get me wrong, I love the leisurely pace of baseball – but lately it’s downright catatonic.

Dear Marla – Why don’t you feature Puppet Dog more often? He’s funny.
-- Dr. Jeanne, the New Mexico Bean

Dear Doc –
With God as my witness, as long as I live that puppet will never appear on this blog again.

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Here's why the blog was late this week.

Dog Rescue:  Let me tell you a story about a little dog who lived across the parking lot from me. She’d wander around wagging her tail and making friends with everyone on our side of the complex where I live.  Her owners were not kind to this little dog, they’d leave her outside in the heat, the rain, the cold – she’d often be seen drinking out of dirty puddles and rummaging through the garbage finding something to eat. 

The people she lived with moved out and left her behind.  I was horrified to discover the empty apartment with the sweet little dust mop of a dog sleeping in front of the door waiting faithfully for the miscreants who treated her so poorly.  I knew I had to take action, I called several pet rescues – to no avail, they did not have room for this little soul, but I would not be deterred – I fed her, gave her a water bowl and a box with blanket to sleep in. She refused to move to my more sheltered garage – insisting on staying outside the door the apartment of the miserable people who left her behind. I was getting frantic about finding a place for her to live, but a very wise friend advised me – wait to see what the next day would bring.

Lo and behold, I e-mailed a picture of the little lost dog to my place of employment.  One of my co-workers, Renee, saw the picture and told me that she wanted the pup.  We drove out that very day during our lunch hour and the little lost dog was no longer.  Renee took her to the vet, she’ll have a bath and trim this weekend and most importantly: a home where she is wanted, cared for and no doubt pampered.  She has a new family and a new name: Gracie.   I am sure she will be as much of  blessing for Ron and Renee as they are for her.

Fond Farewell:  My stepbrother Rob is moving to Nashville, he left this morning.  We had a final dinner of Bodacious barbeque ribs last night (good thing too – the evil forces of Jerry World in Arlington are forcing Bodacious to close it’s doors soon).  I’m not sure how much I’ll enjoy going to Campo Verde and eating the chips and salsa all by myself, and what about all those I-Hop I coupons I saved up for the pancake cravings?  But seriously, I’ll miss you and wish you all the best

Thanks for the mailbag questions! – Marla Hooch

Today's List:

1. Chiropractors

2. MD's

3. Alleve

4. Heating Pads

5. Vaporizers

6. Antihistamines

7. Anti-inflamatories

8. Anti-depressants (just kidding - sort of)

My back hurts...my throat hurts...my life hurts.

Too sick and tired to write much.

As you probably guessed, I'm not feeling well.  This has not been my year, thank  goodness there are only 61 days left in 2007.  Next year, a new start, a clean bill of health and better times - for all of us.

9. Keep up with the further adventures of CJ Wilson as he bounds around the sports venues and car factories of Europe - on his blog: "Scorpion Tales"

10. Mia and Erin's dad, Mike Hindman, is gearing up for the Hot Stove season, and will be posting his "almost annual" Prospect Preview on his blog: "Rangers Farm Report"

11. Congrats to the Red Sox fans - all those "sympathy" fans you had with you in 2004 (like me) are now gone.  The Sox are no longer the underdogs - just another good (albeit big spending) team to beat.

12. And even bigger congrats to the cousin Chris-a-tine and all the Rockies fans.  That was quite a run ,you've got an exciting young team that will be fun to watch.  I am happy for you and green with envy: your team made it to the main event - (keep in mind my team has only won 1 playoff game - that was 11 years ago - and the way things are going probably won't get back to the playoffs until after I retire) - hope you enjoyed every minute of "Rocktober".

13. Has it really been seven seasons since we took these pictures of Joaquin Benoit in Tulsa and Oklahoma City? If I remember correctly - I was at Joaquin's first AAA  game in 2001.  Glad to read that Joaquin will still be around for a couple more years.

14. Finally: Next Thursday I'll be a little less crabby and feeling much better (I hope).  We'll open up Marla's Mailbag to see what our very small - but fiercely loyal -readers have on their minds.  If you have a question, opinion (doesn't necessarily have to be about baseball) or a just need a recipe for perogis - please drop me a line at e.czajka@tx.rr.com - will attempt to give you an honest answer and if I can't do that - I'll make something up.

Praise the Lord and pass the cough syrup - Marla Hooch