July 31 - Marla Still On The DL; Somebody's Got Some 'Splaining To Do; The Tale Of Sir Basil
Rachel Phelps: I think he'll fit right in with our team concept.
Charlie Donovan: That reminds me, I was going to ask you. What exactly *is* our team concept? -- "Major League"
I am in no way as well-versed in baseball as Marla Hooch. However, I grew up in the same house with her, and some knowledge has rubbed off over time. And, I am an educated human being with some common sense.
Therefore, would someone – anyone – please explain to me just how many catchers the Rangers need to improve the starting pitching rotation? We trade Kenny Lofton for – a pitcher? No. A single-A catcher. We trade Mark Texiera for – a pitcher? No. A catcher, a shortstop, a 19 year old right hander, plus a ptbnl. (And, of course, we traded away our top pitching prospect (John Danks) last year…)
Don’t get me wrong. Love the catchers. (See previous blog re: John Ellis) Love the Pudges (Original and the Texas Version). Love the tough guys behind the plate. Just don’t understand how that fits into our team concept.
(Baseball purists can stop reading now, if you haven't already.)
Everyone loves my puppet, Sir Basil Gucci (the artist formerly known as Puppetdog, but named and knighted at the London Hilton by true British royalty using a true British butter knife).
Everyone loves him except Marla Hooch, that is.
He looks very similar to the famous (or infamous) pets.com sock puppet. Voiced by Michael Ian Black (of NBC's "Ed" and "VH-1's: I Love the 70's, 80's, and 90's" fame), the pets.com commercials cracked me up. (witnessing the stockings nailed to the fireplace at christmas -- "the horror!") The fine, generous, thoughtful and handsome Mr. Schmenge bought a pets.com puppet for me. He thought it would be a fad and wind up in a closet somewhere.
Years later, Basil has become my nearly-constant traveling companion. Tired of the "Okay, now you stand in front of the sign and I'll take your picture" poses? Get a puppet. Similar to Flat Stanley or the traveling yard gnomes, Basil makes a great stand-in to capture your travel adventures. And he fits into carry-on nicely. Like a sock, actually.
His first trip was to Las Vegas with Marla and our Mom. (Hi Mom!) Marla was mortified , almost running from sight when we pulled Basil out of my purse and started taking photos in front of the Caesar's Palace fountains. She was horrified when he had dessert at Spago. Our next trip to Key West left both of them -- Basil and Marla -- emotionally scarred, as she threatened to throw him into the ocean.
On the other hand (no pun intended), others who have encountered Basil from Seattle, Denver, London, Dublin, Fort Berthold, Fergus Falls, Albuquerque, Honolulu and Edinburgh have loved him! What's not to love? He actually went to Portugal without me!
Okay, maybe he drinks a bit. But really, it's all good. Guinness in Dublin, Bailey's at Dublin airport, Margaritas in San Antonio, Margaritas in Key West, Wine in Round Rock... it's all good.
He's found clothes and accessories along the way. (Build a Bear fits him nicely - you just have to remember he can't wear pants - kilts, yes; pants, no). He even has a Rangers uniform to wear.
Still, Marla doesn't accept him. But he won't stop trying.
Don't get me started about the time Basil had the opportunity for a picture with Jason Botts. Jason, you would have liked that, wouldn't you? Basil adds celebrity status. Boras has nothing on Bas.
Our other sister, New Mexico Beanne, had a great time with Basil in D.C. She was the one squatting behind the potted plant in front of the J. Edgar Hoover FBI Building so Basil could have his picture taken there. She doesn't mind if we're on their surveillance tape - hey, we were probably the hit of their holiday party gag reel.
So, Basil goes to the Ballpark in Arlington, Safeco Field, Round Rock, and Frisco but if Marla's there, he won't be seen by the players. *sigh* Where's the love, Marla? Where's the love?
Note to Marla fans - this will surely get Marla back and blogging as she will most likely change the password so Basil will never appear on her page again.
End of the Schmenge Polka
We leave you with our (unrelated to anything above) favorite baseball movie quote (again from "Major League"):
Pedro Cerrano: Jesus, I like him very much, but he no help with curveball.
Eddie Harris: You trying to say Jesus Christ can't hit a curveball?
Cheers!
-- Mrs. Schmenge
Sir Basil has opened up a whole new avenue for family fun and priceless memories...who could forget his unscheduled trip to Seattle and being held for a ransom of "small bills"...Marla sang like a canary about the responsible parties(one of whom was herself). Then, there was the Polish wedding, complete with an eloquent and downright hilarious minister with shady credentials,highballs, polkas, and Polish wedding chicken. As I recall, Marla was in attendance and did fully participate. So, despite her professed dislike...methinks the lady doth protest too much. Chrisatine in Colorado, 3 games over .500 on August 1st
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and by the way, 3 games out of first (this is uncharted territory for us Rockies fans)so please, indulge me, and yes, I know it is early.
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Sheesh - I can't get away from him, I hate that stupid puppet.
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