July 26 - Marla on the DL

"Don't you worry Marla, I'm going to yank out that gall bladder so fast, your liver will say to your kidneys 'What the **** happened to Frank?!' - that's right, your liver named your gall bladder 'Frank'."  -- Chris Turk, Surgeon on Scrubs

Mrs. Schmenge here -- pinch hitting for Marla Hooch, currently on the d.l. for, well... you can guess from the quote above.  It's a real medical issue.  Honest.

                        "I'm all stoved up." -- Mickey Rivers

The Man, The Myth, The Legend

Today's topic, fellow Schmengians, is John Charles Ellis.

Catcher, 1st base, dh.  Yes, I know he was a (cringe) Yankee and an (yawn) Indian, but to me, he was a Ranger.  He was my Ranger.

Why Ellis?  He was tough.  Very tough.  First off the bench in a brawl (some would say instigator of such...) Returned to the bigs after a "career-ending injury" - a fracture of the ankle.  Described by at least one sportswriter as a ballplayer who enjoyed intimidating sportswriters. 

My kind of ballplayer.

Ellis Baseball card trivia:  "Bail bondsman in the off season" 

Granted, I was at an impressionable age when I was introduced to the Rangers by my fairy godmother who had a season seat at "cozy" Arlington Stadium.  But I think it was his lack of pretense and determination that made me a fan.  Never a prima donna, Ellis wasn't exactly fan-friendly.  It took work to be a fan of Ellis.  Trust me on this one.

Things to do if you are a John Ellis fan: 

• Butter up Gaylord Perry by having him sign a copy of Me and the Spitter, and he'll get Ellis' autograph for you (well, he said it was his autograph).
• If you see someone in the stands (after Ellis retired) that looks just like him, you could always ask to see his driver's license if he denies that he is Ellis.  (amazing how easy that was)
• Peer into the dugout during games and watch Ellis on the bench - create a numbering system for his hat positions; wonder what he is saying to the water cooler; and consider if there is some link through Zig the Trainer.
• Use "John Charles" as an alias on sales letters that you are typing in your night job just to keep the legend alive in a small way.

And when you are a fan from a different state, it makes it all that much more difficult.  Sure, a young Mrs. Schmenge in Toledo could catch the Tiger games and maybe if the reception is clear, the radio broadcast of the Indian games when the Rangers were in town.  But this was pre-internet, pre mlb-pass, pre-superstation baseball.  You had to be tough and determined, like the Man.

Alas, sad days arrive.  We age.  Players retire.  Ellis faded unceremoniously out of baseball.  When I later was an Arlington Stadium usher, program seller, and then babysitter to the stars (shout out to the Rick Honeycutt family), I couldn't help but think there was a void that couldn't be filled by the new breed of players.  The tough, dedicated ballplayer was replaced by the much more egocentric ballplayer.  (Did we actually have a player who wouldn't play because he didn't like the pants? -- nah, that couldn't have been real.)

Epilogue

He continues to be a Tough Guy after baseball. 

After the loss of several family members to cancer and being a cancer survivor himself, he founded the Connecticut Sports Foundation.   Go to: sportsfoundation.org to see the good work that Ellis and his wife are doing for cancer patients in Connecticut.

I bow to the families benefitting from his generosity and work in service to others -- I'm sure they are the real John Ellis fans.

Schmenge Schtuff:

• We need a Gagne Goggle night at the Ballpark in Arlington.
• Does quantity ("but we could get so much for him") really outweigh quality?
• Free Jason Botts (and thanks again for the tickets).
• Chuck Morgan should have trademarked the dot race.
• A Bit of Fry & Laurie is out on dvd.  Hugh Laurie long before House. 
• Sir Basil Gucci sends Marla kisses & hugs for a quick recovery.
• Hi Mom.
• Little known fact that many women will respond very positively if you ask them to dance a polka with you.  They may even try to lead.  Let them.

Now, go get some cabbage rolls and coffee.  -- Mrs. Schmenge