Rachel Phelps: I think he’ll fit right in with our team concept.
Charlie Donovan: That reminds me, I was going to ask you. What exactly *is* our team concept? — "Major League"

I am in no way as well-versed in baseball as Marla Hooch.  However, I grew up in the same house with her, and some knowledge has rubbed off over time.  And, I am an educated human being with some common sense.

Therefore, would someone – anyone – please explain to me just how many catchers the Rangers need to improve the starting pitching rotation?  We trade Kenny Lofton for – a pitcher?  No.  A single-A catcher.  We trade Mark Texiera for – a pitcher?  No.  A catcher, a shortstop, a 19 year old right hander, plus a ptbnl.  (And, of course, we traded away our top pitching prospect (John Danks) last year…)

Don’t get me wrong.  Love the catchers.  (See previous blog re: John Ellis)  Love the Pudges (Original and the Texas Version).  Love the tough guys behind the plate.  Just don’t understand how that fits into our team concept.

The Tale of Brave Sir Basil

(Baseball purists can stop reading now, if you haven’t already.)
Everyone loves my puppet, Sir Basil Gucci (the artist formerly known as Puppetdog, but named and knighted at the London Hilton by true British royalty using a true British butter knife). 

Everyone loves him except Marla Hooch, that is.

He looks very similar to the famous (or infamous) pets.com sock puppet.  Voiced by Michael Ian Black (of NBC’s "Ed" and "VH-1′s: I Love the 70′s, 80′s, and 90′s" fame), the pets.com commercials cracked me up.  (witnessing the stockings nailed to the fireplace at christmas — "the horror!")  The fine, generous, thoughtful and handsome Mr. Schmenge bought a pets.com puppet for me.  He thought it would be a fad and wind up in a closet somewhere.

Years later, Basil has become my nearly-constant traveling companion.  Tired of the "Okay, now you stand in front of the sign and I’ll take your picture" poses?  Get a puppet.  Similar to Flat Stanley or the traveling yard gnomes, Basil makes a great stand-in to capture your travel adventures.  And he fits into carry-on nicely.  Like a sock, actually.

His first trip was to Las Vegas with Marla and our Mom.  (Hi Mom!)  Marla was mortified , almost running from sight when we pulled Basil out of my purse and started taking photos in front of the Caesar’s Palace fountains.  She was horrified when he had dessert at Spago.  Our next trip to Key West left both of them — Basil and Marla — emotionally scarred, as she threatened to throw him into the ocean.

On the other hand (no pun intended), others who have encountered Basil from Seattle, Denver, London, Dublin, Fort Berthold, Fergus Falls, Albuquerque, Honolulu and Edinburgh have loved him!  What’s not to love?  He actually went to Portugal without me!

Okay, maybe he drinks a bit.  But really, it’s all good.  Guinness in Dublin, Bailey’s at Dublin airport, Margaritas in San Antonio, Margaritas in Key West, Wine in Round Rock… it’s all good.

He’s found clothes and accessories along the way.  (Build a Bear fits him nicely – you just have to remember he can’t wear pants – kilts, yes; pants, no).  He even has a Rangers uniform to wear.

Still, Marla doesn’t accept him.  But he won’t stop trying.

Don’t get me started about the time Basil had the opportunity for a picture with Jason Botts.  Jason, you would have liked that, wouldn’t you?  Basil adds celebrity status.  Boras has nothing on Bas.

Our other sister, New Mexico Beanne, had a great time with Basil in D.C.  She was the one squatting behind the potted plant in front of the J. Edgar Hoover FBI Building so Basil could have his picture taken there.  She doesn’t mind if we’re on their surveillance tape – hey, we were probably the hit of their holiday party gag reel.

So, Basil goes to the Ballpark in Arlington, Safeco Field, Round Rock, and Frisco but if Marla’s there, he won’t be seen by the players.  *sigh* Where’s the love, Marla?  Where’s the love?

Note to Marla fans – this will surely get Marla back and blogging as she will most likely change the password so Basil will never appear on her page again.

End of the Schmenge Polka

We leave you with our (unrelated to anything above)  favorite baseball movie quote (again from "Major League"):

Pedro Cerrano: Jesus, I like him very much, but he no help with curveball.
Eddie Harris: You trying to say Jesus Christ can’t hit a curveball?

Cheers!

– Mrs. Schmenge

For all of the Marla Hooch well-wishers out there – surgery went perfectly.  She’s a little dopey (meds, not her usual state) but doing well.  On the road to recovery with graham crackers and jello.

        "I like surgery, it gives you a sense of out look, you know." — Ringo, Help!

Polka on! — Mrs. Schmenge

"Don’t you worry Marla, I’m going to yank out that gall bladder so fast, your liver will say to your kidneys ‘What the **** happened to Frank?!’ – that’s right, your liver named your gall bladder ‘Frank’."  — Chris Turk, Surgeon on Scrubs

Mrs. Schmenge here — pinch hitting for Marla Hooch, currently on the d.l. for, well… you can guess from the quote above.  It’s a real medical issue.  Honest.

                        "I’m all stoved up." — Mickey Rivers

The Man, The Myth, The Legend

Today’s topic, fellow Schmengians, is John Charles Ellis.

Catcher, 1st base, dh.  Yes, I know he was a (cringe) Yankee and an (yawn) Indian, but to me, he was a Ranger.  He was my Ranger.

Why Ellis?  He was tough.  Very tough.  First off the bench in a brawl (some would say instigator of such…) Returned to the bigs after a "career-ending injury" – a fracture of the ankle.  Described by at least one sportswriter as a ballplayer who enjoyed intimidating sportswriters. 

My kind of ballplayer.

Ellis Baseball card trivia:  "Bail bondsman in the off season" 

Granted, I was at an impressionable age when I was introduced to the Rangers by my fairy godmother who had a season seat at "cozy" Arlington Stadium.  But I think it was his lack of pretense and determination that made me a fan.  Never a prima donna, Ellis wasn’t exactly fan-friendly.  It took work to be a fan of Ellis.  Trust me on this one.

Things to do if you are a John Ellis fan: 

• Butter up Gaylord Perry by having him sign a copy of Me and the Spitter, and he’ll get Ellis’ autograph for you (well, he said it was his autograph).
• If you see someone in the stands (after Ellis retired) that looks just like him, you could always ask to see his driver’s license if he denies that he is Ellis.  (amazing how easy that was)
• Peer into the dugout during games and watch Ellis on the bench – create a numbering system for his hat positions; wonder what he is saying to the water cooler; and consider if there is some link through Zig the Trainer.
• Use "John Charles" as an alias on sales letters that you are typing in your night job just to keep the legend alive in a small way.

And when you are a fan from a different state, it makes it all that much more difficult.  Sure, a young Mrs. Schmenge in Toledo could catch the Tiger games and maybe if the reception is clear, the radio broadcast of the Indian games when the Rangers were in town.  But this was pre-internet, pre mlb-pass, pre-superstation baseball.  You had to be tough and determined, like the Man.

Alas, sad days arrive.  We age.  Players retire.  Ellis faded unceremoniously out of baseball.  When I later was an Arlington Stadium usher, program seller, and then babysitter to the stars (shout out to the Rick Honeycutt family), I couldn’t help but think there was a void that couldn’t be filled by the new breed of players.  The tough, dedicated ballplayer was replaced by the much more egocentric ballplayer.  (Did we actually have a player who wouldn’t play because he didn’t like the pants? — nah, that couldn’t have been real.)

Epilogue

He continues to be a Tough Guy after baseball. 

After the loss of several family members to cancer and being a cancer survivor himself, he founded the Connecticut Sports Foundation.   Go to: sportsfoundation.org to see the good work that Ellis and his wife are doing for cancer patients in Connecticut.

I bow to the families benefitting from his generosity and work in service to others — I’m sure they are the real John Ellis fans.

Schmenge Schtuff:

• We need a Gagne Goggle night at the Ballpark in Arlington.
• Does quantity ("but we could get so much for him") really outweigh quality?
• Free Jason Botts (and thanks again for the tickets).
• Chuck Morgan should have trademarked the dot race.
• A Bit of Fry & Laurie is out on dvd.  Hugh Laurie long before House. 
• Sir Basil Gucci sends Marla kisses & hugs for a quick recovery.
• Hi Mom.
• Little known fact that many women will respond very positively if you ask them to dance a polka with you.  They may even try to lead.  Let them.

Now, go get some cabbage rolls and coffee.  — Mrs. Schmenge

This - Game Report: – Oklahoma Redhawks at Round Rock (Houston): Friday July 20th and Saturday July 21st.   Although the humidity and clouds made it feel more like Houston –  it was indeed Dell Diamond, one of the best places to watch minor league games and that’s just what we did. Friday night the combo of Alfredo Simon,  Francisco Cruceta and Randy Williams struck out 17 batters – Tug Hulett and Kevin Mahar each homered in their first AB’s.  OKC won 7-1. I’ll admit it: there were fireworks scheduled after the game, a big crowd and a bottle of wine waiting back at the hotel – we didn’t stay for the entire game.

However, we did stay for the whole game on Saturday night.  Not only did we get a close up look at the stitches on Jason Botts ring finger, but we also watched a matchup between two highly touted pitchers – Troy Patton and Eric Hurley. Turns out that Patton and Hurley have known eachother since high school and this was not the first time they’ve faced off.  Both were good – actually better than that – they were pretty good.   The Redhawks struck first when Freddy Guzman walked, moved to second when Nelson Cruz went to first on catcher’s interference. Guzman tagged up and moved to third on Nate Gold’s long fly ball out – then stole home, Patton didn’t even make a throw, didn’t look like he knew what just happened to him.  After that the fans were treated to an old fashioned pitchers duel until the bottom of the 6th inning, when Adam Fox (who was having a really tough night fielding) threw away an easy sacrifice bunt opening the door to three unearned Express runs.  The final line for Hurley – 6IP – 5 H – 1 BB – 6 K’s for Patton 7 IP – 2 H – 1BB – 6 K’s. That part of the game was fun to watch – but the end of the game was not.  Wes Littleton took over in the 7th and another mix-up involving Fox and Littleton fielding a bunt started the blow out by Round Rock who scored 6 runs off of Wes, the Redhawks scored 2 runs in the eight – but wound up on the losing end of a 9-3 score.

That - Random Thoughts:

Doing the numbers – Our occasional check up on the Danks/McCarthy trade.

Since June 1:
John Danks – 50 1/3 IP – 54 Hits – 21BB – 40 K – 5.18 ERA
Brandon McCarthy – 26 1/3 IP – 26 Hits – 10 BB – 17 K – 4.64 ERA

And that San Diego trade, not trying to defend it because it’s one of the  worst in team history.  But those hot starts by Termel Sledge and Adrian Gonzalez have gone ice cold. Sledge is now playing part time, hitting just .234 since June 1st.   Adrian’s very good April and May (.297 12 HR) has been followed by a not so good June and July – .222 3 HR’s.

Just one thing about Chris Young,  his road ERA is a respectable 3.13 in 54 1/3  IP  – his home ERA an unbelievable 0.73 in 62 IP at very pitcher friendly PETCO Park.   

Checking in on some of the gone and not forgotten:

LHP John Koronka at AAA Buffalo: 8 2/3 IP – 11 Hits – 6 ER – 4 BB – 7 K’s – 6.23 ERA
RHP Nick Masset  recently sent back to AAA Charlotte:  4 1/3 IP – 4 Hits – 3 ER – 2 BB  1 K – 6.23 ERA
LHP Fabio Castro at AAA Ottawa: 28 IP – 23 Hits – 9 ER- 19 BB – 25 K – 2.89 ERA

Oh and that other trade with San Diego:

OF Vincent Sinisi’s fast start (.328) slowed down in June (.276) and he’s now on the DL.  While RedHawk’s OF Freddy Guzman’s slow start sped up in June as he hit .283 with 12 SB (only 1 CS).

The Other Thing - Compare and Contrast: 

"St. Elsewhere" vs "ER"

Both shows featured “heartthrob” doctors, ER’s George Clooney and  St. Elsewhere’s Mark Harmon  both of whom left their shows for the silver screen.   I’ll give this one to Clooney who has been much more successful or at least George has made more interesting choices than Mark.  However, that’s about the only thing ER has over St. Elsewhere

St. Elsewhere alumni include Academy Award winners Denzel Washington, and Helen Hunt as well as  Howie Mandel, Stephen Furst, Alfre Woodard, Ed Begley Jr,  David Morse, Norman Lloyd, the vastly underrated Williams Daniels and Ed Flanders.   It also included former "M*A*S*H" cast member G.W. Bailey (who is now regularly stealing scenes from Kyra Sedgewick on TNT’s “The Closer”). 

ER’s alumni – aside from Clooney – there is Beach Boy wannabe John Stamos,  star of "Top Gun" and "Revenge of the Nerds" Anthony Edwards,  and Noah Wylie who left for lead roles in such epics as “The Librarian: Return to King Solomon’s Mines”.

Overall – St. Elsewhere’s cast was and remains far superior to ER’s.

Both shows covered the “disease” of the week – the predictable ER bringing in a crisis neatly resolved at the end of the hour. St. Elsewhere was one of the first television shows to deal with AIDS, Alzheimer’s, spousal abuse and terrorism (an episode featuring a young Tim Robbins) in a realistic, frank manner that, as often happens in life, did not include happy endings.

ER’s most notable foray away from the predictable was a live show broadcast.  St. Elsewhere’s ventures away from the commonplace included an episode that followed a woman patient with  a running calculation of the cost of each procedure as the doctors attempted to diagnose her malady (and this was 20 years before healthcare became a buzzword issue).  One my personal favorites was a “dream” sequence/parody of Dante’s "Inferno" as Howie Mandel’s character recovered from a gunshot wound and visited the three realms of the dead: ****, Purgatory and Heaven.

In case you haven’t figured it out – I’m not a fan of ER and have never understood the reason for it’s ongoing popularity – other than the fact that it’s made up of the two characteristics TV programmers love: peril and soap opera type romance.   St. Elsewhere was thought provoking, intelligent, sly, witty – and struggled in the ratings for the six seasons it was on NBC. Unfortunately, only the first season of St. Elsewhere is available on DVD – and it’s been re-run on TV Land sporadically – but when St. Elsewhere is shown again or if you can get your hands on the DVD – take the time to watch , you won’t regret it.

The Most Important Thing – Friendship, the best medicine – If you are down in the dumps, not feeling well – I recommend having lunch with three friends who you treasure and adore – it will cure the blues and make you forget all that ails you immediately.

Finally - I am going on the DL, having some surgery that will keep me away from the computer for, what I hope, is only a short time.  While I’m away my good friend (who is also my younger sister) former Arlington Stadium usher, program seller and babysitter to the stars, Mrs. Schmenge will be blogging here.

This week I’m signing off with a self -indulgent Hello to a few friends and family who are faithful readers : Hi to Mom, Neil (best stepdad, ever), Glenna Hartman, Joe Hartman, Alice Baker (without you Round Rock wasn’t as much fun) Kit Boggs,  greg rogers,  Jack Miller (my Canadad – okay your picture is finally on the blog) Tom Galbraith, Aunt Rita,  Judy (my mango margarita sister), Rob Gibson (best stepbrother, ever) JDN, MJH, the incomparable Henry Chadwick, cousin Chris (how about them Rockies) Jose Sagen, Grant and Mike Schiller, Todd Trice, Mr. Shroom, my once and future fiancé Marc Barenblat, and Mrs. Schmenge.  Thanks for reading – Go Rangers – Free Jason Botts – I’ll be back…soon  – Marla Hooch

curse (n.)- 1. An appeal to a supernatural power for evil or injury to befall someone or something…3. Someone or something accursed (The American Heritage Dictionary)

I’m counting on Jon Daniels to expiate the Curse of Einar Diaz.

This is the week that was:  19 year old LHP Kasey Kiker channeled Bob Gibson this week in Low A Clinton.  Kiker (3.00 ERA, 48 IP, 21 BB, 63 K) buzzed Dayton’s Denis Phipps with an inside pitch Monday night – Kasey was promptly tossed from the game.  What did Denis do?  The night before he stood and admired a home run that barely cleared the fences.  Good for you Kasey, you own the inside of the plate and you’ve got your teammate’s back. 

Out in Bakersfield, 3B Chris Davis (.309 BA/ .352 OBP /.586 SLG) invoked the spirit of Joe DiMaggio as his 35 game hitting streak ended – but he did tie the record for the longest streak in Cal League history. 

OKC Redhawk OF Jason Botts (.319 BA/ .436 OBP/ .554 SLG) suffered the misfortune of a fracture and cut on the tip of his right ring finger that landed him on the DL. But that’s not nearly as bad a fate as his look alike, actor Jeff Daniels, suffered when his made the unfortunate choice to star in the truly awful "My Favorite Martian" movie in 1999.

This is the week that will be:  Baseball Mom, our friend Mrs. Schmenge and I are  headed to Round Rock for some shopping, some baseball and some dinner at the historic Stagecoach Inn in Salado.  Robert E. Lee, Sam Houston as well as Frank and Jesse James all stayed and ate at the Stagecoach which has been in operation since 1861. http://www.staystagecoach.com/golf/proto/stagecoach/

The talk shows, internet forums and blogs will kick into full speculation and rumor mode as the non-waiver trade deadline nears, which brings us to the title of today’s entry.

The Curse of Einar Diaz:  When you think of it, Diaz has been directly involved or a  tangential part of most of the ignominious transactions in the Rangers recent history. (Can you tell I still have the dictionary open on my desk?)

The link starts with one of the saddest moments in franchise history – the incredibly unwise decision by Tom Hicks and John Hart to not re-sign Pudge Rodriguez.   Aside from being absolutely unforgiveable, it left the team with a need for a starting catcher.

The next link in the curse:  yet another unwise decision by John Hart – who saw only 62 major league AB’s by Travis Hafner,  based his evaluation  on that limited sample and traded him to Cleveland for the guy who "plays with his hair on fire" Einar Diaz. Do I need to recap Hafner’s career since joining the Tribe? Do I have to remind you of the succession of failed DH’s that have followed his departure?  Do I have to recount Diaz’s abysmal stint with the Rangers?

Another link in the curse – Diaz was traded to Montreal for Chris Young and Josh McKinley.  Not necessary to regurgitate the disastrous trade that sent Chris Young to San Diego.

The final link:  Aki Otsuka, the small bit of salvation from that San Diego trade debacle is now the subject of trade rumors – and not surprisingly touched by the curse as he winds up on the DL.

Some say that curses don’t exist,  that a series of coincidences, or the failure to achieve a goal have nothing to do with cosmic forces or the supernatural – to which I reply – go ahead, try to tell that to a Cubs fan.

Are the Rangers cursed?  Possibly. But the reality is more likely that their recent travails have more to do with poor decision making driven by a meddling owner listening to a manipulative agent and his prize client, a manager who tried to be a  GM from the dugout and just plain bad luck.

We’ve got our rabbit’s foot, our four-leaf clovers and a little salt tossed over our shoulder counting on Jon Daniels to do his best, and that with patience, a little luck, not to mention some better player evaluation – the Curse of Einar Diaz can be broken. 

"Every blessing ignored, becomes a curse" — Marla Hooch

CRASH:  Learn your clichés. Study them. Know them. They’re your friends. Write this down. "We gotta play ‘em one day at a time. "
NUKE: Boring
CRASH: Of course. That’s the point. " I’m just happy to be here and hope I can help the ballclub."

If you haven’t used at least one cliché while discussing baseball then you have to ask yourself –are you really a baseball fan?

As Crash Davis so eloquently put it – clichés are your friend –  they are certainly my friend for today’s entry and “a friend in need is a friend indeed”.

“Better late than never” – a few leftover game reports from 2 weeks worth of baseball games.

"Love conquers all" Friday July 6th – Newberg Night at the Ballpark in Arlington– Baltimore at Texas -  some would say the best part of the night was the nearly 90 minute Q and A with Jon Daniels,  others will say it was the comfort of the 15 suites the Rangers provided at a fan friendly price,  still others will say it was a stellar pitching performance by Kameron Loe, or clutch performances by Travis Metcalf and Michael Young in a Rangers win.  But in my opinion the best part of the night:  the wedding in the Bill Terry Suite.

Devin Pike asked us to visit the suite in the top of the 6th – we had no idea what was in the works. Devin gathered his friends, said they were “eloping” – wearing matching Hank Blalock jerseys – he performed the ceremony. We toasted them with champagne during the dot race.  Now that’s my idea of the perfect wedding.

"He’s a tough out." Saturday and Sunday July 7th and 8th – the Nashville Sounds(Milwaukee)  at the Oklahoma Redhawks – Speaking of Crash Davis – the mythical HR king of the minor leauges – a familiar name was the Home Run king that weekend as Nashville CF Laynce Nix hit 3 homers in 3 consecutive AB’s (spread over 2 games).  But not even a lopsided loss Saturday night could subdue the excitement of Jason Botts Growth Chart Night at Bricktown Ballpark.

"Kiss that one goodbye — it’s outta here!" Wednesday July 11 – the Corpus Christi Hooks (Houston)  at the Frisco Rough Riders – neither wind, nor lightining nor driving rain will keep your faithful minor league fan from keeping her appointment at Dr. Pepper Ballpark.  Once the rainstorm passed, it was a pleasantly cool evening in Frisco.  Mark Teixeira’s one rehab start was not particularly notable, at least not on the field.  What was worth noting: 2 home runs by John Mayberry Jr – I should say no doubt HR’s -  the power stroke is impressive.  Scott Shoemaker pitched 6 2/3 very strong innings in the 5-2 win. After recent call up Danny Touchet blew the save, Daniel Ray Herrera and Jesse Ingram combined for a perfect 1 1/3 IP to with Herrera getting the W and Ingram the save.  I don’t know if Danny Ray is major league material -  that maximum effort across the body delivery look like an injury wating to happen – but he certainly is fun to watch every time he’s on the mound.

"It’s a whole new ballgame." Sunday July 15 – the Round Rock Express (Houston) at the Oklahoma Redhawks - Initially the calendar said the pitching matchup on Sunday would be Chan Ho Park vs Eric Hurley – but as fate and minor league pitching rotations will have it – Park pitched (and won) Saturday. But it was still worth the drive to OKC to see Eric Hurley pitch, Victor Diaz return, and Jason Botts get pitched around – again. 

The real summer heat returned to Oklahoma City as Hurley took the mound. Of the 6 hits he gave up – only 2 were solid, 2 were "excuse" me dunkers that fell between the infield and outfield, the double was right on the third base line – a close enough call that manager Bobby Jones came out to argue whether it was fair or foul. Eric’s pickoff of Express 1B Mark Saccamano at second base to end the 5th was perfect.

My friend, Air Force Staff Sgt. Kris Hollingshead  correctly described the Express starter Juan Gutierrez as "wildly effective" giving up 7 BB’s but striking out 5.  The Redhawks had the bases loaded in the 1st, 2nd, 7th, 8th and 9th innings – and managed to score only 2 runs (on a single by Nelson Cruz and -surprise! – a walk to Jason Botts) OKC lost 6-4.

"They have to remember what got them here."  – Forget about ill-informed sports-talk radio grades, or Cecil B DeMile biblical epic player ratings – it’s time for the Marla Hooch Mid-Season Cliche Awards:

"Look before you leap" award goes to: Michael Young.  Hey Michael, you’ve been around this organization long enough to know that the Rangers are always re-building. You’ve seen 3 general managers, and 3 new skippers in the dugout – tell me you didn’t think about that before you signed your new contract.

"All hat and no cattle" award goes to:  Vincent Padilla -  and yes, I thought giving him a contract was a good idea – Mr. Hicks, Jon Daniels and I were all wrong about Vincente.

"The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence" award to: Barry Zito – 4.90 ERA, 6-9 on a last place team.

"Don’t count your chickens before they hatch" award goes to: whoever advised Jon Daniels that Brandon McCarthy was more "major league ready" and would be better pitcher than John Danks.  To date:
John Danks: 69 2/3 IP – 22 BB – 77 K (6-6) 4.81 ERA
Brandon McCarthy: 66 IP – 32 BB – 39 K (4-6)5.59 ERA

"Even a blind squirrel finds a nut sometimes" award goes to: Sammy Sosa – he’s hitting .237 since the big HR and only .156 in July with 0 RBI’s.

"If you’re going to talk the talk, you better walk the walk"  award goes to:  Mark Teixeira – hmmm -  Let’s see the team went 9-14 in April – and you hit .231 – remember every time you point your finger, there are 4 more pointing back at you.

"Carpe Deim"  award goes to: Kameron Loe – you may turn out to be the best Rangers pitching story this season.

"Today is the first day of the rest of your life" award goes to: Hank Blalock.  Let’s not forget that before Hank went on the DL – he was hitting .285 – (.345 for 55 AB’s in May) – it looked like the Hank Blalock I saw in Tulsa – hitting those frozen ropes to the fence. Hank has 11 doubles in just 39 games, the team leader in doubles is Michael Young with 22 in 90 games.  I hope Hank has a full recovery and picks up right where he left off.

"The waiting is the hardest part" award goes to Jason Botts – still at AAA, still sporting a .324/.439/.563 (1.003 OPS) line.  During the Newberg Night Q and A Jon Daniels was asked about Jason’s supposed defensive problems. JD said if Botts hits well enough they won’t worry about the defense.  Hmmm, so if a  1.003 OPS, with 74 RBI’s is not "enough" for the Rangers front office braintrust, then what is "enough"?

"Rome wasn’t built in a day" award goes to: the ever patient Ranger fan. Maybe the owner has finally learned to let the baseball people "do their jobs", maybe that minor league system is finally showing some signs of revival with the "kids" in Low A, Short Season, Rookie Ball and from the 2007 draft class, maybe that team we saw in June is for real,  maybe  if we can wait just a little bit longer – well, you already know…. "hope springs eternal for every baseball fan"

"There’s a little bit of truth in every cliche" — Marla Hooch

The dog ate my homework, I forgot to set the alarm,  the car battery died, I have to wait 30 minutes after eating, it’s still raining, I thought it was due next week, my Mom won’t let me, I just plain forgot – have you heard enough excuses yet?  How about just one more: I couldn’t think of anything to write this week.

That’s not exactly the truth  – real life got in the way of my all-important baseball pursuits.

Last Friday night I participated in one of my favorite events: Newberg Report Night at Rangers Ballpark.  I’m pleased to report that between the raffle that Friday night and a subsquent e-mail auction our faithful readers raised around $4,000.00 for the "Hello Win Column" fund – http://www.hellowincolumn.org/ – and we hope, had a great time doing that.

We will be back next week with tales of Growth Chart Day in OKC, John Mayberry Jr. dingers in Frisco, weddings at the Ballpark and some mid-term awards.

Putting on my thinking cap and sharpening those pencils — Marla Hooch

P.S. Here’s the "You Tube" of Jamey Newberg’s interview with Jim Knox, that lady on the right hand side of the screen over Jamey’s shoulder looks awfully… familiar….  http://youtube.com/watch?v=OLnR1suDgTY

Batting Averages since May 14th:

AL MVP Justin Morneau: .289
NL MVP Ryan Howard: .288
Sammy Sosa: .230
Brad Wilkerson: .241
Frank Catalanotto: .270

and …Jason Botts: .400

According to the Newberg Report’s Scott Lucas: "nice of Jason Botts to let us occupy space on his planet."

This is the week that was:  LHP Kasey Kiker continued to mow down MWL hitters pitching 12 innings giving up 7 hits 1 BB and striking out 11.  Kiker stands 5′ 10" if he were 8 inches taller he’d be as tall as Jason Botts.

Meanwhile in Bakersfield, Chris Davis who, like Jason Botts, visited the Newberg Report Booth at the 2007 Winter Fan Fest extended his hitting streak to 24 games, going 12 for 26 in 7 games. 

Frisco outfielders Brandon Boggs and John Mayberry Jr. had the same line last week: 7 hits in 17 AB’s. But they both live in the shadow of Jason Botts who lead the Frisco Roughriders to the Texas League Championship in 2004 and was named to the 2004 Texas League Post Season All-Star Team. 

The man himself,  Oklahoma Redhawk Jason Botts, went 11 for 24 last week, with 4 doubles 5 home runs and currently owns a 17 game hitting streak..let us now pause for a moment of awed silence.

This is the week that will be:  Saturday night at Bricktown Ballpark in Oklahoma City is Jason Botts Growth Chart night – that’s all you really need to know. 

This week’s non-sequitor:

Important information about Jason Botts.

* The PCL All-Star game is taking place on Wednesday July 11th without Jason Botts, so it’s not really worth discussing.

* His favorite group is AFI – described by Rolling Stone magazine as pop punk with a touch of goth which I suppose means they sound like the Ramones and Marilyn Manson singing tunes by the Monkees.

* Jason’s OBP of .430 ranks 4th in all of professional baseball (major and minor league) trailing only Barry Bonds (.517) AL MVP candidate Maglio Ordonez (.444) and Todd Helton(.442)

* His favorite cookies are Snickerdoodles

* Jason Botts stopped by to visit his friend Ian Kinsler on a Redhawks off day 2 weeks ago – that night Ian hit 2 home runs – coincidence – I think not.

* As a kid, Jason Botts was a San Francisco Giants fan, his favorite player was former Ranger Will Clark.

* The 33 doubles hit by Jason Botts are tied with Chase Utley for the 3rd highest total in all of professional baseball behind (fellow minor leaguer)  Delwyn Young’s 35 and that Ordonez guy, again, with 34.

* Jason’s grandfather, Carl Rosene, has been a San Francisco Giants season ticket holder since the team moved to the coast in 1958.  Last season when Botts had an AB in the last game of the Rangers/Giants series, the Giants put a message on their Jumbotron noting that he was the long-time fan’s grandson.

* He recently changed his walk-up music from Darth Vader’s Theme to a song by former Mouseketeer Justin Timberlake….okay, maybe Jason really didn’t need to do that.

* Jason Botts loves to face Kirk Sarloos.   He hit his first major league HR into the second deck of the Home Run porch at the Ballpark in the second inning of a game vs. the A’s on May 26, 2006. It was the Sunday Night ESPN nationally televised game.  All of Jason’s friends and family saw the HR, his mother Judy was at the game.  Her cell phone didn’t stop ringing for 3 more innings.

* Evan Grant of the Dallas Morning News named his AAA farm report “The Jason Botts Watch” because Evan knows he’s just renting space on Jason’s planet.

* According to the Oracle of Baseball on Baseball Reference.com (it is a baseball version of the “6 Degrees of Kevin Bacon”) the chain of players from Babe Ruth to Jason Botts: Babe Ruth played on 1930 Yankees with Lefty Gomez  who played on the 1939 Yankees with Joe Gordon who played on the 1949 Indians with Minnie Minoso who played on the 1976 White Sox with Brian Downing who played on the 1991 Rangers Kenny Rogers who played on the 2005 Rangers with Jason Botts.

I admit that I’m never impartial about Jason Botts. 

I envy and respect his talent, I admire his persistence and positive attitude during his very long journey to the big leagues. I wasn’t lucky enough to get married and have children, but I was very fortunate to meet Judy Botts’ son and I’m glad she shared him with me and with all the baseball fans who know about him, or will get to know him during what I know will be a successful career.

Go Bottsie! When is the next trip to I-Hop?  – Marla Hooch

"It’s our game . . . it has the snap, go, fling of the American atmosphere; it belongs as much to our institutions, fits into them as significantly as our Constitution’s laws . . ." –

— Walt Whitman on baseball

The day the Declaration of Independence was signed, the odds stacked against the colonies fighting for independence were huge.  Americans were decidedly the underdogs facing a fight with the larger, better equipped and trained British Army.   Much like the Rangers on their road trip last week:  the worst road team in the American League facing two formidable, division leading, playoff bound contenders – and just like the Continental Army they held their own and return home with winning record for the trip and for June.   British General Charles Cornwallis had his band play “The World Turned Upside Down” the day his troops surrendered at Yorktown and the Revolutionary War ended – the Tigers and Red Sox probably feel the same way.

Game Report: Saturday June 30 – Cardinals (St.Louis) at Frisco: I’d never seen LHP Doug Mathis pitch, and he didn’t have a particularly good night last Saturday – the Cards were hitting plenty of long fly balls – 4 of the 8 hits Mathis gave up went for extra bases.  There was a scary moment when CF Brandon Boggs crashed into the OF fence trying to catch one of those fly balls – he laid on the warning track briefly, but got up and finished the game – plus he had 2 hits that evening.  John Mayberry Jr. had a hit and a strikeout – I was sitting with my mentor Jamey Newberg – he put in the call for Mayberry – unfortunately, he grounded out to second.  I know this report is lacking details – it wasn’t a terribly interesting game – Jamey and I found other worthy baseball topics to discuss.  Oh by the way, the Riders lost 5-2. 

Random Thoughts:

I talked to a friend from back home in Cleveland the other day. She’d gone to the Oakland/Indians game – in fact it was the night CC Sabathia won his 11th game.  The official attendance listed 17,000 plus – but she said there were only about 16,000 at Jacobs Field that night.  The Indians, in my overly exalted opinion, are one the most exciting young teams in baseball – and they are leading their division.  The Rangers are averaging almost 8,000 more fans per game than the Tribe. What in the name of Chief Wahoo is going on up there on the banks of the mighty Cuyahoga River?

Things that make you go hmmmm:  34-48 – the Rangers record after Monday night’s game.  36-43 – The White Sox record after Monday night’s game.  They’ve played fewer games – so they have fewer losses, but are only two games better in the win column.  I’m thinking – we don’t have to worry too much about watching John Danks pitch in October, and maybe we won’t be subjected to much more Ozzie Guillen either.

Let’s check up on some those “players who got away” that the local columnists just love to harp on:

LHP Doug Davis – started out strong – but fell pretty hard in June with a 2-3 record, 32 2/3 IP, 44 Hits and a 6.23 ERA. 

RHP Francisco Cordero apparently had a little trouble shaking off those 2 blown saves against the Rangers. There was a nail biter save against the Tigers giving up 2 runs before eeking out a 6-5 win and giving up 3 runs at Wrigley and blowing his 3rd save.  For June he was 0-2 with 3 blown saves and 7.50 ERA —maybe JD did know what he was doing with that trade. 

There’s no doubt the infamous  trade with San Diego is still one of the worst in team history – but 1B Adrian Gonzalez definitely cooled off in June hitting .231 with just 2 homers in 26 games, and OF Termel Sledge is now playing part time – hitting .256 in only 16 games last month.

I’m surprised to realize how few good movies there are about the American Revolution.  Please don’t mention that dreadful TV mini-series on George Washington (Barry Bostwick – ugh!)  Or that 1970’s John Jakes romance novel passing itself off as history (William Shatner as Paul Revere – really?) and the less said about that Mel Gibson abomination of a few years ago, the better.

There is one good movie about the American Revolution, one of my personal favorites.  It is a musical, that’s right a musical, about the writing of the Declaration of Independence – called “1776”. Originally produced on Broadway in 1969 and then made into a film in 1972.  Casa Manana put on excellent production a couple of years ago at the Bass Hall starring many local theatre legends including Jac Alder (one of the founders of Theatre Three). The movie was recently re-released on DVD with scenes that were deleted now “restored” – one in particular that then President Nixon suggested removing –(read all about it on Wikipedia or IMDB) or watch it for yourself on Turner Classic Movies, Wednesday July 4th at 9:00. Don’t worry – you won’t miss any fireworks – it will probably still be raining.

Baseball is the American game – a little research proves our founding fathers have some words of wisdom for today’s players, managers, fans and errant baseball wives:

Thomas Jefferson advising Bud Selig: “In matters of style swim with the current, in matters of principle stand like a rock.”

John Adams to the fans on the Rangers chances of competing the rest of this season: “Facts are stubborn things; and whatever may be our wishes, our inclinations, or the dictates of our passions, they cannot alter the state of the facts and the evidence.”

James Madison on Tom Hicks on the selling the naming rights to the Ballpark, the Gold Club and those annoying True.com girls:  “Commercial shackles are generally unjust, oppressive and impolitic”

George Washington on the chances of Scott Boras’s client Mark Teixeira staying with the Rangers: “Few men have virtue to withstand the highest bidder.”

Ben Franklin on those post game, sports talk radio shows: “Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain and most fools do”.

Patrick Henry on the growing Rangers DL list: “They tell us we are weak, unable to cope with so formidable an adversary.  But when shall we be stronger?”

George Washington on Cynthia Rodriguez’s questionable wardrobe choice: “It is better to offer no excuse than a bad one”

Ben Franklin describing the preferred beverage of some of us Ranger fans and certain members of the local baseball media: “Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.”

Thomas Jefferson on Ranger GM’s Jon Daniels: “I like the dreams of the future better than the history of the past”

Ben Franklin on first year Rangers manager Ron Washington: "Do not fear mistakes.  You will know failure. Continue to reach out"

Thomas Jefferson’s advice to Barry Bonds: "Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom"

James Madison complimenting Yogi Berra: "Philosphy is common sense with big words."

And finally – from George Washington, good advice for all of us: “Let us raise a standard to which the wise and honest can repair; the rest is in the hands of God”

E Pluribus Unum – Marla Hooch